I have a web-based presentation to give tomorrow. I should be working on my PowerPoint slides. I am currently doing anything else to avoid it. Why did I agree to this? PowerPoint is a tool designed to suck the life-force from the fingers and eyeballs of unsuspecting users -- tricked by its gaudy colours and impenetrable interface -- and pump it across the Internet to Microsoft HQ where, I assume, it is held underground in large vats for the personal use of Microsoft upper echelons. (It is well known that Bill Gates was brutally murdered by users sometime after the release of Windows 3.0, and is now animated solely by nightly injections of PowerPoint-acquired life-force).